Alright, I need some advice.
In my life, family and friends mean everything to me...they are what makes each and every day worthwhile. There are three people who know me inside and out, one is my sister, one is a girl friend of mine, and the third is a guy friend. We've known each other for years but over the last year we've become ridiculously close. Nothing ever happened between us because he was in a relationship with one of my closest friends, however about two months ago she ended things (rather badly) with him. I was there to pick up the pieces I suppose you could say, and we became even closer than before. He is the first person I speak to in the mornings and always the last person I talk to before I sleep. He means the world to me and probably knows me better than anyone. I have noticed some feelings for him, but I had these before he and my friend got together and so I just ignored them. However last night we stayed up all night (an 11 hour phone conversation) and he admitted to having feelings for me.
I have been having problems with the guy I'm seeing recently...I'm never sure where I stand with him, we haven't seen each other in about 9 weeks, and I can't help but feel as though I am simply a "for now" girl - someone to spend his time with when he has nothing better to do. Anyways, things have been shaky between us and I have been planning on talking to him about it for awhile now however things kept getting in the way.
Now I have two guys and I am afraid of making the wrong decision. On the one hand, I have this seemingly good guy who I have been dating and who (though i dont really know where i stand with him) I know I care for. On the other hand I have one of the most important people to me in my life, who I feel strongly for but who is my friend's exboyfriend, and who (though I know would never do anything to hurt me), I fear may be jumping into this too soon.
I think I already know my answer, I mean I enjoy being with this new guy but I do not see it being very serious, whereas with my friend, I know that whatever we have it will be long-lasting (whether it is just maintaining the friendship or taking the next step)...however I guess what I really need to know is...am I betraying my friend by becoming involved with her ex?
Please help...
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5 comments:
My only comment is that maybe you should ask your friend? She'd probably take it a lot better if you just came out with it rather than her finding out about it from someone else.
You need to do what's best for you and what makes you happy. You never know what might happen, unless you go for it. Your good friend might still be there if the new guy doesn't work out or he might not be. That's his choice but you shouldn't make him wait and you should give up something else entirely because you're afraid of losing him.
I wish you the best. Picking a guy usually isn't very easy. Especially if you're holding yourself back.
P.S. - I went for the new guy. The good friend was dragging his heels and he acknowledged me way too late. I do find myself wondering "what if" but not too often and I'm absolutely 100% happy with what I have now.
"and you should give up something else entirely because you're afraid of losing him. "
That was supposed to be "SHOULDN'T"
Guys can be so blind sometimes. My husband thinks everything is great if I'm not complaining. I think you are going to have to chat with the new guy and settle things. It will make you feel better in the end.
Your girlfriend, how good a friend is she? Is this someone you talk with and/or hang out with regularly? If so, you will need to chat with her too. I had(still have) a friend who asked me if it was ok if she went out with my ex-boyfriend (right after we stopped going out)and I said yes. Even though kissing him was like kissing a brother (no spark) it still would have felt like they were doing stuff behind my back and probably would have damaged the friendship. We all remained friends and they were together for several years. Love doesn't care if he's your best friend's boyfriend, unfortunately.
Good luck and let me know if I need to ship you some Rolos and a trashy book.
:) Thank you both for your good advice. I plan to talk to the new guy tonight and try to figure out where we stand with each other. And I agree, I need to be honest (not just with the new guy) but with my friend as well.
I'll come back on tonight and post an update.
Thank you both again and I'll keep you posted =)
Hey girl, miss you!
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